you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
