girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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