he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We're too hungover to prance.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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