sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
