Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
