Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
