Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i out mim tonsoeep
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
