can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
