Christians are straight up FREAKS
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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