So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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