So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
