We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Girls should come with a carfax report
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
