their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
