Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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