i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
