i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
