the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
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He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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