Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
