Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
