I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
