question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize