You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
