i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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