how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
