Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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