Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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