How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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