she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
