so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
