And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
