windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
time to smoke my breakfast
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
