come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my vag is so smooth its legendary
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
