So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
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