I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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