its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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