whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
