he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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