I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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