I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
