oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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