Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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