And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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