His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
