My cat gives me a boner
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We are two peas in an std pod
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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