i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
