The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
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thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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