drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
