and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
