He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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