i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Are my feet made of real feet?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
