my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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