erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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