At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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