you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
