I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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