there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
