I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
