oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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