I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
