so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
