I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize