Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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