the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
